Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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