How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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