man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
