do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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