Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
