sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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