You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
