just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize