Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
