areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
