DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ugly people sure do ruin things
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
