meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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