She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
