so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You smell like a Billy Joel song
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Randomize
