Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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