part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
