so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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