you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
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just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
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So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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