I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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