"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The Olympian is in my bed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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