were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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