I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
