that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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