I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
