The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize