Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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