How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dignity is for republicans.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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