Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
