Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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