Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i will never coherently bang her
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Randomize
