omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
