So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
