He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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