we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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