look no pants
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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