Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
