Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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