I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
