Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
