would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
