I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
