Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
