Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
