I wannas sexs uuuuu
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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