i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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