the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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