I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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