No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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