I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
