Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
