She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
