If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
