its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
