hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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