She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
