She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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