Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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