I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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