He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
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So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.