& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
