butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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