i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
