HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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