If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
