My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i barfeds in our rink
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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