I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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