operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
