If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
