When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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