my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize